The only time when I don’t think about it.. is v when I’m playing… even when my arms hurt… wrists hurt… hands and fingers hurt… I will still… continue play… maybe I did push myself too hard… the pain… I can’t work… I’m emotional… I can’t help it… somehow.. I’ve to release it.. I played… think nothing but play.. I don’t know how long will this last..
I need to see orthopaedic soon. I’m worried about the charges. I can’t afford hospital checkups. Suspect carpal tunnel syndrome. This isn’t the first time. I got it when I started ingress and it went off. But since I’m doing data entry now… it came back on both sides and gone bad. I can’t really eat with chopsticks now.. for now.. I can’t find the type of wrist+hand support that I want.. so just temporary got a wrist support.
Things that happened can never be undone.. no matter how much you wished.. words are easily said but actions show all.. maybe just need time… but how long? Nobody knows..
Why do I seem like having problems most of the time? Sometimes when think about it… it’s tiring.. wish to give up.. but luckily she pulled me out of darkness.. I owe her for that.. I owe them… I owe all 3.. without their support… I wouldn’t stand till now..
Betrayed once is bad.. feeling betrayed the 2nd is worse.. that’s how I felt when I knew the truth. If you are reading this.. you should understand.. I can’t let go as easily as you said… not for a stubborn like me.. you guys should have just tell me.. I’ve never felt so awkward before.. I’m truly bad in pretending that’s so obvious.. I can’t even hide… I really so… felt like running away that day.. maybe should have.. that’s really 1 situation, 1st experience, that I’ve ever been thru..
I’m not as tough as you see me… I’ve my weakness.. maybe time will tell..
Is not tat hard to do but do I want it? Nope. All badges remain but I will have to start from level 1 again. No way! It’s not that hard to level up till 8 but worth it? I don’t think so. It’s not the first time agents asking me to faction change and it isn’t the last either. I just was to finish off level 16 as enlightened. And get as much onyx bashes I can. Play the way I want. Link and field the way I want. I’m the one playing my game. Not you.
Continue my ingress journey to level 16? Or stop at level 15? It seems to me getting tougher for me to achieve. I’m lack of inventory. The usual farm just got blasted today. I’ve got no place to farm. This is so not right.
I’m so lazy today. Don’t feel like doing anything. Just woke up the second time. I really don’t know what will happen. It sounds like a waste if I stop now after all the struggle I’ve been through.
I’m tired.. tired of driving… tired of glyphing… tired of fielding… tired of linking… but every second worth the fun… sometimes it’s good to be tired… don’t have to think…
Fun is fun but don’t have to be so hardcore.. I did thought of leveling up 16 before mission day melaka, which is about 1 month’s time but I find it a bit too ridiculous.. I can if I want but I’ll be like exhausted… then there’s no more fun..
I’m now about 24.5 millions AP, and level 16 needs 40 millions AP.. today I managed to grind about 300k AP only… consider a lot for me with limited weapons, limited reso, limited fields, and the only cluster at atmosphere.. consider okay but can be better..
I try not to have high expectations with the way I’m playing because it depends on my mood. Different cluster, different fielding, total AP varies. I don’t field the same all the time. I field as I go… my abstract masterpiece comes in all shapes and sizes.
Indeed my shoulders are very tired… and I’m so thirsty… but I was having fun… I don’t think I helped him much because my fields don’t give lots of AP. Instead I felt his fields helped me more. Blast till no more weapons. Earlier wasn’t enough of reso.
I fielded a bit then had dinner at a dim sum restaurant. Uptown is damn hard to find parking BEFORE MIDNIGHT! Then he came. Had dinner and fielded and left. I blasted and fielded until wee hours in my car. I never walk alone there. Then he came back but this fella is actually very tired.
We’re just bits more to the level we want. That’s his last level and I’m only second last level. Never wanted to level up so much like now.