Posted in Diary

#31: when D strikes….

nothing matters anymore… can’t help it… can’t do anything but cry… it last a few minutes to hours to days.. the more I hope.. the more I wish… the more disappointment.. I give up.. when D and stress combine.. worst.. I know I think too much… until stress.. If only I can format my mind.. D makes you lose interest in people.. lose appetite.. lose mind… professional help is advisable.. I know… this stubborn head resist all.. please don’t push me anymore.. the more you push the more I resist.. i just want somebody to talk to.. somebody I’m comfortable with.. somebody I trust.. I’m struggling to overcome it.. force won’t work on me.. it will only make it worse.. when D strikes… really don’t feel like doing anything… money don’t last forever… rejection is failure… survival.. I don’t want to think.. but can’t.. every decision is crucial.. there will be a time when everything stops..

Posted in Diary, I Eat

#18: Jibby & Co

Met up with Vivian and miss Ngow, along with her niece for late lunch aka my late Brunch. We’ve not seen each other a year long.. at least..

We went to Jibby & Co which is located at GK11, Empire Shopping Gallery, Jalan SS 16/1, 47500 Subang Jaya, Selangor, Malaysia. It’s actually next to the open space car park at Ground Floor, near to Starbucks. It’s open from 8.30 am till 10.30 am, Monday to Sunday. I assumed you can call +603-56137070 for reservation.  It’s a 2-storey building, with glass panels allowing natural sunlight shine in.. I quite like the environment, the shape of the building, and the food.

I don’t really remember the names of what we had.. so… here are the picures…….

Salted egg yolk chicken popcorn – Bite sized. Addictive.
My chocolate shake.
Crossaint – the egg omelette is so creamy and yummy.
Hommus – came with toasted bread. Very flavorful.
Salad – came with black sesame sauce.
Pasta – linguini with hot chili oil, chilli flakes, tomatoes, buffalo cheese. A bit too hot for me.
Food for sharing.
Cheese cake.
Raspberry and pistachio cake.
Cakes for sharing.

we chatted for hours. Miss Ngow was my piano teacher, and Vivian is my piano classmate. We’ve known each other many years.

Posted in Diary

#16: I’m not his passenger..

True enough I’m not.. he doesn’t have to report his whereabouts… we are just friends.. somehow I felt unhappy like needles poking me.. I really need to learn not to rely on him.. he’s one male friend who’s willing to listen to me… I don’t want to lose our friendship.. it’s always comfortable talking to him… but I felt I rely on him too much.. I survived my recent depression.. I know it will come back.. I know I’ll never be the passenger of anybody else.. if I don’t stop… I’ll end up killing myself in my own hands.. it’s a joy when friends care for you.. never take it for granted.. I never had… the feeling… on friends… letting go is like killing me.. softly… slowly… but if it continue… it will ruin our friendship and that’s not what I want.. sometimes his sillyness makes me laugh.. his straightforwardness makes me cry and wakes me up, to see the truth.. to me he’s a good guy.. maybe devilish at times but that doesn’t matter.. I like him the way he is.. real friend is all that matters..

Posted in Diary

#15: him

I’m grateful to have him as a friend… I sincerely trust him.. I appreciate every moment of our friendship.. his straightforward words… woke me in some ways.. never judge a book by its cover.. you’ll never know what’s hidden inside.. he call himself a bad listener.. it’s okay… I don’t need him to be a perfect listener but someone who’s willing to listen to me.. I don’t want to talk to myself again… I’m not crazy.. I don’t want to talk to the empty space… I’m not expecting solution or answer.. I just want a listener.. he call himself mean… no… he’s not… he’s just trying to point of facts.. he did made me cry… but I cried not because he said bad things or whatsoever… I cried because he said the truth.. we are from different family backgrounds. We are born in different generations. But somehow I felt that he thinks more mature than me.. maybe it’s life experience… I owe him a lot more than I can repay.. it’s the appreciation.. the kind of helpfulness.. the kind of friendship.. that money can’t buy….  thank you..

He’s not really that bad… except that he’ll go missing without notification… whenever my messages sent without any reply for a long time… I knew he’s not reading… phone somewhere in the pocket… he’s away… well… I don’t expect prompt reply but at least tell me Lah…. then I won’t message first… that’s him… always like that… bad boy.

Everyone has a devil side. It’s whether we want to show it or not. I won’t believe if you tell me you’re perfectly good.. no devilish thinking… this and that.. you’re lying… I’ve never said he’s a good guy… our interpretations of devil may be different.. I don’t see you a devil yet… bad yes, devil no.