Posted in Diary

#38: one and a half months….

Passing thru…. that’s how long we’ve not talk… although I survived but it’s one of saddest moments I had.. finding a soul mate is hard… and true friendship is similarly hard.. when you thought you’ve found one… and suddenly communication breakdowns… you don’t any response from the other person anymore.. you’ll feel like “what have I done?” “Why are you ignoring me?” Blaming own self is the first, you can think of.. I may have said something.. but there are words that I really mean it.. words said can’t retrieve.. no matter how many times I delete… is already said.. I’m not even sure if you’re reading anymore.. I don’t want to lose this relationship.. one and a half months… not easy to pass… at least not for me.. I’m one stubborn patient.. who’s finally… willing… to seek help.. I don’t know what will happen.. but a new chapter to begin.. you know what kind of sickness I’m having.. I’m about to off-limits soon… I can’t control myself anymore.. there are days that I will just cry till tired.. and sleep till next day.. I felt heart-broken.. I felt heart pain… I felt hopeless… I felt useless… I felt negative.. you know I can’t talk with people whom I don’t trust.. rainy days.. the worst when I can’t go out.. I became weak and extremely lazy.. staring blank at anything.. tears flowing down.. I wish for a hug.. I wish for comfort.. I failed myself..

Posted in Diary

#36: there is a difference….

There are times before meeting someone in person, you would get bits of stories about this person… what I got is mostly told one-sided. It’s not 100% true.

Never judge a book by its cover.

Meeting that someone in person tells you a lot more than just hearing stories.. though you might say.. that person is just acting in front of you.. don’t believe this… don’t believe that…

I believe my instincts.

If a person doesn’t like you, no matter what you do, that person will never like you, disagree with you, against you, hate you, and etc..

Once a hater, always a hater.

This is the reality of all situations.. of all things… around us.. happening daily… every seconds…

It’s a never ending story.

This game allowed me to meet people of all ages and backgrounds. People from different countries including home. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in which faction. It’s the opportunit that connects us. But in reality… there are chances we fight among ourselves due to different game ideology.

It’s a social game.

my 2 cents thought.. goodnight!

Posted in Diary

#34: I’m back…

I’ve not updated for some time.. not in the mood to update.. it’s going to be a month since our last chat.. some things changed.. while some remain unchanged.. the case of faction change never end.. it’s still a talk topic.. it’s not listed in my wanted list yet.. I’m just playing the way I want now.. to me.. you can’t play the all by yourself.. you need the opposite faction too.. what’s the point of playing when only 1 color left? Is there anymore fun? Getting full blamed for my current status is something I considered not too fair.. I should have the right to make choice.. don’t bother asking me not to believe so and so… it won’t work… I believe my instincts… and I fully trust them… if you have any against my believes.. proof it.. I’m just a normal human when not playing the game.. I want my friends.. do things I like.. pamper myself.. the way I like.. these are the things that nobody can change..

I can’t remember how many times I’ve been asked to change faction.. leveling from 1 to 16 isn’t that hard but going through the same ordeal is something.. my mentality isn’t ready for that.. not yet..

I’m one lazy girl who doesn’t exercise.. but lately I’ve walked rounds while playing ingress.. my mind needs a workout.. so does my body… it helps but I still do get THE “D” at times. A pamper after that is satisfying.. thanks to SH for the articles..

Posted in Diary

#33: faction change

Is not tat hard to do but do I want it? Nope. All badges remain but I will have to start from level 1 again. No way! It’s not that hard to level up till 8 but worth it? I don’t think so. It’s not the first time agents asking me to faction change and it isn’t the last either. I just was to finish off level 16 as enlightened. And get as much onyx bashes I can. Play the way I want. Link and field the way I want. I’m the one playing my game. Not you.

Posted in Diary

#32: sweat…..

After walking back from the bazaar ramadhan at the shops there… naik bukit ni… badan bau asap dan peluh… one of my favorite activity of the year… pictures? My Facebook page and g+ got.. Bought my nasi lemak kerang and ikan pari asam pedas from husband and wife stalls… 2 stalls.. 2 locations… I’ve known them for a few years… Since the time when I was doing tm doket @ maintenance at kinrara/puchong area.. orang beli for buka puasa.. i beli for breakfast sebab bangun lambat. Sampai rumah tu… sweat je…. tu tengah buka bungkusan… sedia nak makan…. baju seluar.. semua basah… makanan total 10 ringgit.. air lai chee kang ais 2 ringgit, pek besar… masih lagi minum ni… tapi ais dah habis melted.. peluh pun sudah kering… sweat not because of really hot weather but the place is cooking up… some sellers are cooking there… and not really windy when i walked back just now.. as usual… people park like they own the place.. luckily I don’t have to drive… just walk.. there are cars everywhere including places that you are not allowed to park.. I usually hunt for certain food only… mahal ke murah… ikut citarasa je… what’s wrong with me today? Dwi bahasa pulak..