#69: yesterday

yesterday, 18/11/17, my brother’s birthday. the exact day. we had dinner in Putien, Subang Courtyard SS15 again. mom booked a table for 6; my parents, us, my brother & his soon-to-be-wife. i was the first to arrived and lucky enough to get parking outside, in front of Texas Chicken. i came out early because i went to collect my new specs (sponsored by mom because i got no money to change new specs). then there was a slight flood and jam on my way out.

then came my parents after that.. i waited for them outside the restaurant. my brother came later after that. dinner is 6pm and i’ve told him in advance. guess what? all 5 of us waited for him. i even reserved some food on his plate and bowls. and guess what? he only came when we finished dinner and about to leave. when he came, he din even wish my brother happy birthday.

luckily mom gave me extra cash, otherwise i can’t even give my brother his birthday angpow. when i ask him for petrol money and angpow money is like i’m begging for money. i got 100 from him and he was like really don’t want give. hello.. if i have more cash in hand, i won’t ask. and… since 2006 i’ve never receive any proper allowance that a husband should be giving..

he said i no go find work. how he know? i have applying and getting rejected. the day before, friday. i met up with this guy about a job. i’m just waiting for the date to start. there are people out there who knows how i’m struggling with bills, and looking for jobs. and my stress affected my hands’ pain. he doesn’t see it from another perspective.

what about him? he spent his trip on things that i would considered unnecessary and rather expensive (anything is expensive when money is not enough). basically he doesn’t bother anything else. he didn’t ask how much i give for angpow. i don’t think he realized i change my specs. i langsung tak tau how much is the bill yesterday since i’m not the one paying. before leaving, i went to boost and a smoothie home. the next round can redeem 1 free.

most of my spending is on bills, maintenance fee, petrol and food. i only go shopping for clothes, shoes, and other necessities when i really need and when there’s promotion. my birthday is coming next month. i will definitely spend on myself. his words hurt too much. i was flooding at home.

#68: don’t know what happen…

it seems like the last time we whatsapp was weeks ago.. wanted to update her on my hands condition.. but the minute i start typing the words… i felt a voice telling me “NO”. then i stopped immediately… erased whatever i started… closed the app… i don’t know why.. suddenly i don’t feel like telling her anything… it’s something like… as though we are strangers.. never met before.. never get to know each other.. there’s no “missing” feel.. it’s just not there.. the feeling is a bit like… i’m having lesser friends.. like friends never increased..

#62: An Viet with Mom

Thanks to BangsarBabe, my mom and I got free lunch at An Viet, last Sunday after some delays. As 1 of the winners, I was given a RM 100 Voucher (Printed Letter) to spend.

Location: An Viet, LG2.127A, LG2 Sunway Pyramid Shopping Mall, No. 3, Jalan PJS 11/15 Bandar Sunway, 47500 Petaling Jaya, Selangor.

GPS: Latitude: 3.073111 | Longitude: 101.607793 (Based on shopping mall address).

Contact: 603-5611 2226

Damage: RM 96.15

  • If you spend less than RM 100, you won’t get the change.
  • If you spend more than RM 100, you pay the extra.

So.. What did we order?

Khai Vi Tong Hop Assorted Platter @ RM 13.11

Nothing much of special. I tried the rice paper spring roll with the chili dipping, which gave it tasteless spring roll some taste. We assumed this is appetizer but it wasn’t served first.

Pictures shared here aren’t in correct order as I don’t really remember anymore..

Xoi Chien Phong Sticky Rice Puff @RM 14.06

This is how it looks like inside

Prices shown here, based on the receipt.

This sticky rice puff is kinda nice to eat on its own. Especially the crispy shell layer. Pairs with chicken cubes and mango salad. Slightly spicy and tangy. But beware.. the sticky rice is really sticky..

Ca Phe Trung (Nong) Coffee with Egg @ RM 9.34

I always wanted to try Vietnamese Drip Coffee with Egg AND THIS IS REALLY DISAPPOINTING. I didn’t expect the egg layer so thin. The little cup is condensed milk. I added a teaspoon or two into my coffee because I don’t drink “just coffee”. I drank Vietnamese Drip Coffee before but I don’t I have ever drank such small cup before.

We shared all the food except for 1 that mom take-away because we’re too full. Dad got to try it and he said the meat is too dry. And that item on the menu is…

Banh Mi Thit Nuong Baguette Pork Chop @ RM 14.06

There is an option to add egg or without egg. I was afraid they will give me runny egg so I said no. Anyway it’s easy to take-away (mom brought a container) without egg. From the look of it, it is dry.

Viet-ffogato @ RM 9.34

SO LITTLE! So different from the picture. Served with coconut milk. REALLY DISAPPOINTED. Taste wise is nice but not worth the price.

Mom said she likes the chopsticks

Clearly stated. You can take-away whatever you cannot finish.

Additional herb for your food but please don’t let it BOTAK

Pho Bo Dac Biet Premium Beef Noodle Soup @ RM 22.55

The add-on

This is my first time seeing fried “you tiau” pairing with this type of noodle soup. In the bowl, mom put some of the basil leaves to clean before adding into the noodle. The basil leaves are no fragrant at all. We didn’t add the chili and lime.

The place was really packed at lunch hour. There are Ingress Portals here if your scanner can touch.

#61: just play no think

The only time when I don’t think about it.. is v when I’m playing… even when my arms hurt… wrists hurt… hands and fingers hurt… I will still… continue play… maybe I did push myself too hard… the pain… I can’t work… I’m emotional… I can’t help it… somehow.. I’ve to release it.. I played… think nothing but play.. I don’t know how long will this last..

I need to see orthopaedic soon. I’m worried about the charges. I can’t afford hospital checkups. Suspect carpal tunnel syndrome. This isn’t the first time. I got it when I started ingress and it went off. But since I’m doing data entry now… it came back on both sides and gone bad. I can’t really eat with chopsticks now.. for now.. I can’t find the type of wrist+hand support that I want.. so just temporary got a wrist support.

Things that happened can never be undone.. no matter how much you wished.. words are easily said but actions show all.. maybe just need time… but how long? Nobody knows..

Why do I seem like having problems most of the time? Sometimes when think about it… it’s tiring.. wish to give up.. but luckily she pulled me out of darkness.. I owe her for that.. I owe them… I owe all 3.. without their support… I wouldn’t stand till now..

Betrayed once is bad.. feeling betrayed the 2nd is worse.. that’s how I felt when I knew the truth. If you are reading this.. you should understand.. I can’t let go as easily as you said… not for a stubborn like me.. you guys should have just tell me.. I’ve never felt so awkward before.. I’m truly bad in pretending that’s so obvious.. I can’t even hide… I really so… felt like running away that day.. maybe should have.. that’s really 1 situation, 1st experience, that I’ve ever been thru..

I’m not as tough as you see me… I’ve my weakness..  maybe time will tell..