#83: doing nothing. .

Lazily sitting on the bed.. left hand holding the phone while right index finger swiping the phone keyboard, typing this post. Another lonely boring night.. on and off killing mosquitoes with the mosquito racket. This is what I do when I’m not out in the street playing ingress. There’s nobody here. Only room light on. Fans on. Window views blocked. Maybe can see silhouette, I don’t know. Menstrual came early, came yesterday. Mood swing to 0. I’ve walked inside the house, wearing just underwear with menstrual pad, and a top. If you want to peek, go ahead. I’m not pretty. I’m fat. Do i have friends? I do but they are not here. None near me. I’m just a lonely bitch that’s all. Rarely I blog from phone. Waiting to get just 1 successfully hired job is painful, stressful, depressing, and frustrating. Because every second passed, it’s not getting closer, is further. Whenever I thought I nailed it, it’s a negative. I’m losing hope. I might as well lose myself. I do feel hopeless. Every negative thoughts I can think of.. is there in my mind. I really need financial support until I can really be financial independent. I’m like applying jobs almost daily. I’m forcing myself until emotional breakdown. I cried. How many people can actually understand what I’m going thru? A friend suggested I have a few sips of wine before sleep. It works. I can sleep better. I don’t drink when I’m too sleepy or sick. I got the cheap wine. It’s inside the fridge. I never like drinking warm wine. Friends come and go. I don’t recognise anymore.. who’s staying who’s leaving.. who’s real who’s fake… does it really matter anymore? Sometimes I felt like I want to be the bad girl.. seeking revenge… be the bitch.. but can I really do it? What am I thinking? I tried cheering myself. Sometimes yes sometimes no. There’s always insecurity in me. Why me? Why am I going through all these?

#82: Nyonya For Dad’s Birthday

31st December 2017, New Year’s Eve, my dad’s birthday. Yes. the last day of the year. My mom made the booking to dine at Nyonya Roots Private Kitchen located at No. 43, Jalan SS 19/1, 47500 Subang Jaya, Selangor. For unknown reasons, the tagging address in Facebook, Instagram, and Swarm indicates 3K Sport Complex Subang Jaya which is actually at SS 13.

I, only know EAT.. so I don’t know what’s the exact name of the dishes we had in the menu. Gelaran biasa tau lah… 😀 😀

Reservation: MUST because they don’t accept walk-in.

Location: It’s a bungalow house by the main road, near a row of shops, and a surau.

Halal: Yes.

Total Damage: Mom order a 6-pax meal but according to the receipt, it was a 5-pax meal, that cost RM 280. No idea why.. And mom only realized the difference after we left the place.

Food: Recommended because it suits our taste buds. Not overly salty that usually cause us thirst after eating.

Ambiance: It gives me a homey feel. Well… you do need to remove your shoes before going into the house. It’s good to listen to music while dining, and there are rooms to cater your needs. Most of the indoor dining tables I was can cater at least 10 person. The room we were in, is air-conditioned and there’s a ceiling fan too.

Now… let me share pictures…

Give it a try! The appetizer is crunchy and refreshing to start the meal. 😀 😀

#78: December

Is here again. Started off with a Free Frozen Fanta from McD, for completing an onsite survey. That was few days ago.

Also, flu got worse after getting caught in rain. And fever after that. Thanks to Hurix’s flu medicine that i bought from 7-11.

Yesterday we had dinner with his parents in a vegetarian restaurant, nearby his parents’ house, in Seri Kembangan. His mom’s birthday falls on the 5th, Tuesday. I had no idea about the dinner because he didn’t tell me about it. It was his mom asking, only then I know. Imagine if I agreed to go back my parents’ house for dinner. Anyway, that’s his fault for not telling in the first place. Not my fault.

He came back with shoes and clothes. He bought Giordano jeans, which I think got discounts for 2 pairs. And Tomaz shoes, shirt, pants, and jacket, which these are not meant for daily use at all. Especially the jacket. He said wear to dinners. I was like… what?! Who three hell wear like that in Malaysia? You’re not even a VIP of any sort that requires you to wear so formal. Sometimes I suspect his money spending got problem. Why spend on clothes that you rarely wear? It makes me felt like you want to show off, telling people that you can afford it but actually you don’t fit in the category.

The 12th marks our 11 years of marriage. I’m not reminding him at all. It’s really boring if I’ve to remind annually. A date that I don’t really bother anymore.

The 18th marks my birthday. Every year, no matter what, I’ll treat myself of my favorite, and buy myself a gift. I shall redeem Starbucks’ free cake. If only there’s Boost here, can get free drink. Juice works got extra 10% discount for birthday month. GSC also can get free movie with (*).

I think the best present to give me is money. I’m wishing for money.

#75: Burning Fire..

gets dimmer during weeping days.. wanting to let go.. but every time.. there is this unwilling or not wanting to give up feeling that makes me keep going.. fire burning brighter.. I’m fighting myself.. it’s suffocating.. the brighter it burns, the more challenging it is..

#74: My Ingress Agent Stats

I print screen the stats when before raining. So now the stats figures are slightly different. This Double AP event gave me about 3 mil AP. Earlier target was getting 49 mil AP in total. And I did. Hoping to get 50 mil now.

Initially it was just 1 picture but exceeded the upload limit size.