nothing matters anymore… can’t help it… can’t do anything but cry… it last a few minutes to hours to days.. the more I hope.. the more I wish… the more disappointment.. I give up.. when D and stress combine.. worst.. I know I think too much… until stress.. If only I can format my mind.. D makes you lose interest in people.. lose appetite.. lose mind… professional help is advisable.. I know… this stubborn head resist all.. please don’t push me anymore.. the more you push the more I resist.. i just want somebody to talk to.. somebody I’m comfortable with.. somebody I trust.. I’m struggling to overcome it.. force won’t work on me.. it will only make it worse.. when D strikes… really don’t feel like doing anything… money don’t last forever… rejection is failure… survival.. I don’t want to think.. but can’t.. every decision is crucial.. there will be a time when everything stops..